Something ended at the Taurus full moon and following Scorpio Dark Moon. What was is no longer, yet what it is, is still very elusive. A new beginning, an ending of old, comfortable ways. I can’t quite sense or explain exactly what it is, but something has changed. People suddenly gone from the familiar and the expected — endings and goodbyes. I am being taken out of my comfort zone — if I ever really had one — and something new is looming like a dark shadow on the horizon.
I have difficulty with change — I need time to mourn what was and to come to terms with its passing. I have to trust that the Dragons will not present me with more than I can cope with. Not only personal, spiritual changes but more mundane work in the changes to websites that have swallowed hours, no, days and weeks of my life, which now amount to nothing as changes are requested that wipe out great chunks of my mortality. Delete the old, move on, afresh with new energies. Nothing old from the past to taint the future. It doesn’t feel right. How can we move on without knowing and remembering our past. This “wipe clean and start afresh” attitude does not sit well. It never has — and I resist, while still embracing the new.
Silently I work away in the background. Unnoticed, unappreciated? No, not really. But fully appreciated? No, not really. A labour of love to honour the Dragons and those who honour them. Through compromise what is important to me will prevail. My efforts will not go unnoticed.
At the very end, what is left? A life of dreams. desires, hard work, dedication to a cause, to love, to family, passion for all that is sacred and good — ashes in a cardboard box the size of a shoebox, entombed within a cavity of brick, capped with a plaque announcing the loss to those who follow on, sealed with a silicon adhesive from Selleys. Such is life — and death.
Reflections in others of what I see or lack in myself — affirmations, contradictions — statements of who I am, who I was, or am yet to be. Stand firm — I am more than a mere reflection of other’s desires. I am not just “somebody’s secretary” — I am me — I am Dragon! …and I will prevail!