Again, on and off, I’ve be reconsidering the idea of accepting the role of High Priestess of Drachen Magie Vermachtnis Clan, but still I vacillate between “yes” and “no” (I first wrote about this question here). Often as I read through the posts on the forums I just don’t have the words, or the experience to be able to write a reply to so many of them. Then I read what others have written and see excellent replies that I would never have thought to write, and feel that there are people there who have so much more first-hand knowledge and experience to impart to others and feel that I just couldn’t do the position justice.
I see the role of HPS as a teaching position and when I read some of the posts by other people in the Clan I realise how little I know and have to offer in some areas. I know I don’t need to have all the answers but I feel I should know more than I do before I can honestly take on the position of High Priestess. While I’m honoured to have been given the title of Majores I sort of feel a bit embarrassed about that too as it implies that I’ve had more experience than I believe I have had. Maybe I’m selling myself short, or maybe I’m just being paranoid — maybe I shouldn’t even be writing this and exposing my vulnerabilities — I dunno.
Then again, I think of the previous HPS of our clan, in its earlier incarnation before she unexpectedly shut down the whole website — without any prior consultation or warning that this move was being contemplated — and left 140+ people “homeless”, and wonder if maybe I do have enough of the right qualities to be HPS even with my own perceived lack of knowledge and experience. I’m more of a “behind-the-scenes” type of person. I’ll quietly work my arse off to perfect the look of a website or support whoever is front and foremost, but I don’t feel comfortable “in the spotlight” so to speak.