Sometimes I wonder where my thoughts come from. Are they mine? Are they from somewhere other than “me”? What or who am “I”? Feeling strange, in another world today. Whispers of “the other” flash into my consciousness occasionally. Just a snippet of a whisper really …hard to decipher.
Dragons are there but I can’t hear them clearly. Images of them fly through my mind. Did I imagine these or did they make themselves known to me from a place outside of “me”? More questions than answers.
A golden yellow dragon keeps showing herself to me — yes, herself — dragons have gender, though some are many-gendered — more than male or female — both yet neither one nor the other. We don’t have a word for it. It really only matters to the dragons.
Trying to let my mind be open to receiving and not thinking — difficult. The golden dragon is still there, with her wings outstretched, like a large cormorant drying her wings in the sun. But she is not a bird and the sun is not of this world — twin suns actually and she has two shadows stretched out in front of her as she becomes a golden-edged silhouette against a shimmering backdrop of brilliant light. The suns are setting in the mauve sky and their light changes to the colour of topaz. She is my topaz dragon — the one who gave me my name? She is me? I am her?
She flies away, leaving me alone in an alien landscape, yet I do not feel alone as she is still with me, our minds joined as one. I fly over mountains, the trees and blue-greenery below blending together looking fluffy and soft, belying their true pointy, sharp and shredding nature if I were to fall onto them. Zooming low, skimming over the treetops and on to a white, sandy coastline and deep purple ocean. Yes, purple — things are different here — wherever “here” is. But it feels like home — either mine or the dragon’s? I land on the sand, which is soft and powdery under my talons as I sink into it slightly, leaving very “unique” footprints as I walk along the ocean’s edge. I fold my large topaz wings behind me as I walk along, gradually changing into my human form again. How could this be? I saw her fly away from “me” yet here I am emerging from “her”. Acceptance, not questioning — it’s too difficult to understand in human terms yet it makes perfect sense to a dragon.
There are others, many others in many different dimensions, coexisting in the same space yet out of sight, out of consciousness of each other unless they choose to transcend the ethereal barriers.
A mysterious white mist rises and surrounds me and thoughts of “The Lady of the Lake” and Avalon haunt my distant memories from another lifetime in another world. Just a glimpse of a lake, the water rippling as a barge glides by, then it is gone, lost in the mists of time — a story from long ago, or reality? Voices, so many voices, muffled and distant, unintelligible words …frustration! Whatever it is that they are saying, I am not meant to know …yet.
A black dragon lands in the undergrowth behind me — he too is one of “my” Dragons — and I feel very safe in his presence. I know he will protect me from “whatever” and I know I can protect myself as I am him. It really does all make sense in “the other place”.
Darkness has descended now — literal, absence-of-light darkness, and a darkness of the soul — a loneliness. I long to be where I am not, yet I don’t know where that is. The dragons will show me when they are ready, or when I am ready …same thing? I hear music now and the pure notes emanating from the harp strings fall over me like droplets of silvery rain, drenching my soul and cleansing my heart. Lifted up on the wings of …an angel? No… a beautiful silvery white dragon swoops down and snatches me carefully and lovingly away as she transforms into my topaz dragon and I merge with her and we become one again.
I fly back over the mountain tops, wistfully glancing behind me. I will return.